The HSP Perfectionism Trap: Why It Took Me a Year to Start this Newsletter
(And How I Overcame my Fears Using Apple Notes)
I have a confession to make.
I actually decided to start this newsletter exactly one year ago. I went through all the “official” steps: I set up a Substack account, created a logo, and I even bought a custom domain! I wanted the foundation to be PERFECT.
And then? I proceeded to write absolutely nothing.
Every time the spark to write came up, something more urgent took precedence.
But deep down, I know why I procrastinated so much.
I was terrified of the reality of writing: exposing myself and risking the judgment that my non-native English wasn’t perfect (as I so strongly wanted it to be).
The Academic Shadow and my “Missing Ear”
As a researcher, I spent a decade writing scientific articles in English. I can structure a technical paper, but writing in a non-scientific way, from the heart, is different. In your mother tongue, you can “hear” if a sentence has the right rhythm. You have an internal melody that tells you when it sounds right. In English, I often feel I lack that “ear.”
I found myself paranoid that my writing would sound clunky or, even worse!, that someone would think it was AI generated because I used tools to help me check the correctness of my writing.
I recently realized that this perfectionism wasn’t just about having high standards, it was a defense mechanism. For us HSPs, being “perfect” is often how we avoid the intense discomfort of criticism or the sting of shame. I was wearing a “High Achiever” mask, hoping that if everything looked flawless, I could control how I was perceived and stay safe from judgment.
As highly sensitive people (HSPs), our deep processing of information often means we can anticipate countless negative possibilities even before taking the smallest action. This leads to a specific kind of paralysis. The necessity to be and feel “fully ready” or perfectly qualified before starting anything.
In academia, you are taught that you cannot afford to approximate. Everything must be fact checked and referenced. I realized that I was treating my new business as a research project, feeling everything had to be flawless before it could be presented to the public.
The “Apple Notes” Method
A few days ago I was lying in bed upon waking up, drinking my green tea, and I had the urge to jot down some ideas for this newsletter, but instead of opening a Word Document, I just opened a blank note on my Apple Notes and started writing in a stream of consciousness everything that was popping in my head. Grammar and orthography down the drain. Just my own intertwined ideas.
By removing the pressure to be competent immediately, I finally entered the Confidence-Competence Loop. True confidence isn’t something we are born with, it comes from practice, failure, and growth. To even enter this loop, we have to be willing to be “really quite bad” at something first.
I realized that my Academic Peers are gone, and nobody will crucify me if my English isn’t just perfect. The only thing that matters now is if my message resonates with the person who needs to hear it.
This meta-skill, knowing you can learn anything if you’re willing to be bad at it first, is the real superpower of a business owner. Stop letting perfectionism hold you back! Instead commit to taking small, messy actions daily.
A Practical Guide to Overcome Perfectionism as an HSP
If you recognized yourself in my story, here are three actionable steps you can take today to shift from paralysis to messy action:
Lower the Stakes (The “Apple Notes” Principle): Instead of starting your project in an environment that screams perfect (like a formatted Word document or a structured Notion page), move to a low-pressure zone. Use a page in a physical notebook or a simple text file. An unstructured environment fosters flow and removes the high pressure of performing perfectly from the start.
Define Your “Good Enough” Standard: Before you start, explicitly state what a “B-minus” effort looks like for the task at hand. For this newsletter, my B-minus was: The message must resonate, even if the English is clunky. By defining an acceptable minimum, you give your inner critic a specific target to aim for, which is much easier to hit than the unachievable target of “perfection.”
Implement a “5-Minute Messy Start”: Overcome the initial resistance is key. Commit to working on the task for just five minutes, and during those five minutes, your ONLY rule is that the output must be messy. Intentionally write poorly, use placeholders, or create a completely unorganized outline. This small, non-critical action forces you to step onto the Confidence-Competence Loop.
✍️ This Week’s Journaling Prompts to Nurture your Business Greenhouse 👩🏻🌾
The Competence Cost: What is the real cost (in time, energy, or lost opportunity) of waiting to feel 100% competent before applying for that role, pitching that project, or launching that service?
My Anti-Flaw Action: What is one small, non-critical task in my job I can intentionally approach with a “B-minus” effort this week, just to practice accepting a lower standard for myself?
I’m so glad to finally be sharing this with you. For sure, it is not perfect, but it’s a start. And sometimes the most productive thing we can do is simply allow ourselves to be messy.
With love,
Cristina
I’m ready for your next post!! 😉